Articles
The 10 biggest pains in the butt...
By Dale Ford
Apr 25, 2006, 21:02

So you wake up one sunny morning (or afternoon, depending on your own personal schedule), throw your gear in the car, and drive to your local field to partake in the finest sport on the planet.  When you arrive, you gear up and get ready to play, only to find out that something isn't working, smells really bad, or you can't see out of it.   While you're beating your head against the nearest tree, the thought comes upon you that all of this frustration could have been avoided!

Well, as a service to you the player, 68Caliber.Com and I decided  to come up with the 10 biggest pains in the butt to players on their way to paintball stardom. 

#10:  Dirty Gear:  Yes, that awful smell is you.  It's always a good idea to wash your clothes after you play, rather than wadding them up and tossing them in your gear bag.  Pads are especially prone to soaking up and retaining sweat, which over time decomposes and creates the green fog surrounding you and making sure that nobody wants to be on your team. 

Normally you can wash your paintball clothes and pads with your regular laundry, but some of us who're married are banned from doing so.  My wife in particular has banned me from washing my paintball clothes with the regular laundry after an incident that involved my paintball stuff staining her work clothes.  Most of the time paintball fill comes out completely in the wash, but not always.  Be aware that some fills are more persistent than others, and plan your laundry day accordingly.

Another cleanliness-related frustration is sand or dirt in your pods.  Here in Florida sand is a HUGE issue, since it's everywhere and wants to get into every nook and cranny on you and your stuff.  After every day of play it's best to rinse out your pods in the sink to make sure no errant grains of sand have invaded your pods, which can eventually end up in your marker, doing all sorts of evil things to it.  

#9:  Paint shoots like crap:  Probably not a good idea to store your leftover paint from your last outing in the trunk of your car.  The best way to think of it is to compare paint to a person.  If you think an environment would make you uncomfortable, then it's more than likely not good for paint either.  Excessive heat or cold will ruin paint within hours, while paint that's properly stored in a cool, dry place like your room (assuming you can clear a space in there!) will last for months and months if properly rotated.  By rotating, we mean literally moving the bags of paint around to keep the fill from settling to one side and to prevent dimples from forming.  While the dimples on a golf ball help it fly better, on a paintball it just doesn't work.

Other reasons your paint may not be shooting well are goop in your barrel and/or breech of your marker.  Once again cleanliness is next to godliness, so make sure your marker and barrel are clear of paint. 

#8:   Marker shoots like crap:  Paintball Markers are machines, and like any machine, they require periodic maintenance.  Follow your owner's manual or just ask someone who should know (like your local shop owner) about how to take care of your marker.  A great way to ruin a day at the field is to have your gun refuse to work...taking care of it makes sure that it'll be there for you!

#7:  Loader refuses to work:   Today's hoppers are even more delicate than ever, and keeping after them is just as important as it is to take care of your marker.  Cleanliness is once again next to godliness.

#6:  Mask problems:  Over time, the plastic in the lens of your mask tends to deteriorate, and periodic lens replacement is the key.  Taking one to the face and leaving the paint on the mask is a sure-fire way to accelerate the process.  The foam that seals your eyes from incoming paint is particularly vulnerable to being damaged by old sweat and paint from face hits.  ALWAYS clean your mask in warm water after EVER day of play, even if you didn't get blasted in the face.  I mean, who wants to put on a mask that has old, grody sweat in it?

#5:  Dead batteries:  Having spares or charged rechargeable batteries is a MUST for playing paintball these days.  Most paintball fields are located off the beaten path, and it's a major pain to leave and go to the nearest store to buy batteries because you left your marker or loader on while it sat in your gear bag trying to avoid the funk coming from your nasty, smelly pads and mask. It's always a good idea to check your batteries the night before your outing, just to make sure that everything is in good working order.  I normally make sure that the rechargeable batteries that I use in my loader in particular are charged, to get maximum performance out of the loader.

#4:  No food/drink:  It's usually a good idea to take some food and water or sports drink in a cooler along with you to make sure your personal batteries stay charged, and to help combat medical issues like heat stroke or heat exhaustion, which believe me, is one of the most miserable experiences you can have on or off the field!

#3:  No friends:  Yeah, playing paintball is a great way to meet new friends, but if you can go with a friend, that helps you prevent having a rough day being hunted down by the local field hardcases, or just to have someone to share stories with! 

#2:  No Money:  I don't care what anyone says, there's no such thing as having too much money.  You may be having a day where you can do no wrong, only to have it cut short because you ran out of paint and didn't have enough on you to go buy another case of your favorite ball to go blast squids with. 

And the #1 pain in the butt for a paintball player to encounter is:

Not being able to play.  Life has this VERY irritating way of interfering with paintball, which is of course the real meaning of life, not that other stuff!  Do chores around the house to make your parents/significant other allow to go, work that job you hate so you can afford the latest gear and paint to shoot, do whatever, but PLAY, and play as much as you can.  Tournament, Scenario, or just hanging out at the local field on the weekends having fun, it's all paintball, and it's the most important thing.